Ask Mr. Wonder Woman

Dear Mr. Wonder Woman,

I see you are carrying a purse, can you tell us what you have in your handbag?

signed– Noseykins

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Dear Noseykins,

Aren’t you the NoseyRosie. Look, do I ask you what’s up your butt?

I didn’t think so, because if I did you’d have to say your head.

You’re a twirp now go tell your Momma I said so.

signed– Mr. Wonder Woman

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Dear Mr. Wonder Woman,

I’m a beautiful, (my friends say so) single white female, 22 years old and I’m single.

Why is that?

What’s wrong with men today, why do I have to buy my own dinners?

Why do I have to open my own doors?

Why is it that when I go out with my girlfriends, I’m always the one who never gets asked to dance?

signed–Danceless in Seattle

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Dear Danceless in Seattle,

Are you Ugly?

You’re not very bright because you told me you were single twice in one sentence.

What? You didn’t think I heard you the first time?

Ideeeiot.

Could it be possible that your so-called girlfriends just want you to save the table and watch their stuff while they go on the dance floor?

Acknowledge that you own your shit. Unless you think you can sell if off cheap on eBay.

If you look at relationships that haven’t worked, the common denominator is you!

That means you are the problem.

You create your own experience and control the choices you make.

Your behavior and decisions have consequences. Take responsibility for them.

Stop offering yourself up to every goomba that comes along.

Are you a Whore?

No, you’re not because if you were you’d be more mentally balanced.

Take the advice of my very best friend Dr. Phil.

“Stop skanking yo’self skumbait, shake it off and be a man.”

Are you a Whore?

Ask yourself that you ideeeiot!

signed–Mr. Wonder Woman

*disclaimer: Ask Mr. WonderWoman is for entertainment purposes only if you actually take this advice you are an ideeeiot!